folklorefanatic

I just thought you should all know (all five of you who check back here every month or so) that I am not dead. I was locked out.

This is the third blog that WP has decided I am no longer worth of controlling and subsequently refused my password when I updated to a newer version. Damn you, secret key! *shakes fist*

Anyway, I entered agent Nathan Bradsford’s first paragraph contest for kicks with my one literary WIP.  I read some of the entries for a couple of minutes. Then my eyes started to glaze over.

Why?

Well, for one, there are currently over 800 of them up as of 1:17 a.m. PST (that’s 4:17 a.m. EST for me) on Wednesday, 2008·12·10, and the contest ends on Thursday.

Wow.

For another, SO MANY OF THEM SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME.

You know how people tell you things to debunk common myths about their jobs, and you don’t believe them? I couldn’t imagine how a bunch of completely isolated individuals could all start different stories in different genres with nearly identical sentences. Once again, truth is stranger than fiction. Er, published fiction. But of course, none of my novels start that way. At least, I don’t think they do. Right? Right?

The genre ones need revisions. I’m not happy until everything is perfect (except for typos, gah! I always miss those even after five passes) before I submit anything to anyone for professional review, so there was no way most of my WIPs would have gone up there. NarcoLexy, however, has a focused opening, IMHO, and the reader should be able to have a clear sense of my voice by the end of the third sentence or so. Want to read it? No? Well, too bad. Here it is:

When I filled out my application to Harvard, I literally spent about fifteen minutes on the essay. I’m a procrastinator, and I wrote it the day it was due. I’ve managed not to tell most people that minor little detail. There are several reasons for this:
a) People will hate me.
b) The average listener will not believe me / will think I am bragging.
c) Someone might pass on the unquestionably bad advice that “procrastination pays” to an impressionable high school student. Terrible Things happen. Lexy sad now.
d) In an ironic twist of fate, the story will reach the ears of my professor, who secretly harbors a grudge against students he perceives to be ‘lucky.’
Yes, I have had many occasions in which I chose to procrastinate and I pulled through, but my sanity is not the better for it. Deadlines are vindictive, sanctimonious, stubborn little bastards. It is always better to deprive them of their powers before they have a chance to strike.

~ Chapter 1, NarcoLexy

Originally published at Folklore Fanatic. You can comment here or there.